I have the "day" thing happen a lot... although, actually, I wouldn't ever want to live a bad day again, even if I could fix what I did wrong. I'm usually just glad to have made it through and then vow to do better the next time!
But sometimes...
One thing about having a child separated almost 13 years by the only other is that I am seeing some fruit of choices I made in respect to mothering my daughter that I am doing very differently with my son and that I wish I could go back and do differently with the girl.
Of course I can't, and I did the best that I could. But I apologize to her a lot about her being the "beta test." I sincerely feel bad and often wonder if some of our breaks today are due to some of the parenting I did when she was small (and please don't comment that they're not, because you don't know and I don't know, but I certainly have my suspicions about some things).
What got me thinking about this (this time) is that the other day, I ordered Mayim Bialik's book Beyond the Sling. If you're a new mother, or if you're expecting, I highly recommend it. It's so encouraging in terms of trusting your own instinct and not following a parenting trend just because someone with a fancy degree says to do it. (Yes, she talks about what she's done and how it's worked in their family, but constantly with the caveat of that won't work for everyone, and people need to do what's best for their family.)
I really like Bialik's humble, personable style of writing, and enjoy reading her articles on Kveller.com. She's vegan and super green and way crunchier than I am, but reading her take on things is nice and sort of supportive, which is what I think she's going for.
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| Mal's morning was starting a lot better than the cat's. |
This boy is getting so verbal! He understands a ton, and is doing his best to communicate using "words."
So far we have:
"Dah-dah!" or "Dah-tah!" for his dad. He uses it specifically, looking for James throughout the house, or when James comes in the door, or when he sees a picture of him. He also said it about a guy at the pool, but that guy had a goatee and pony tail, so maybe to Mal's baby eyes, it kind of looked like his dad.
"Dah-dayee" or "Day-nayee" for Daphne. Always pretty loud, since I'm typically yelling down the hall to her.
"Kee-kah" for "kitty cat." He tries to say Aish's name, too, but it just comes out "shhh." He might not be able to tell Rudy and Carol apart, but it should be easy because Carol runs, and Rudy stays.
"Bah" or "bah-bah" for "ball." Today, we picked up our van after its having been in the shop for over a week. When he got in the back seat and saw the inflatable beach ball, he said, delightedly, "Ball!"
He tries to copy pretty much anything we say that amuses him. He laughs when we laugh, and hollers if we holler to him. He understands what I say, especially if I repeat it and reinforce it. This morning, I would ask, "Can I have a hug?" and then squeeze the tar out of him. After the fourth time, when I asked if I could have a hug, he leaned in and hugged me.
The coolest thing is that... well, the is isn't the cool part: He has a temper! He gets so mad if he's trying to move something or open something and it's not going the way he wanted. He will yell, throw his head back, start into a tantrum. I've started saying, "Malcolm, do you need help? All you have to do is say, 'Help, please,' 'Help, mama.'" Now, as soon as I calmly ask, "Do you need help?" he'll say, "Buh-buh."
He also says "Buh-buh" when he climbs up and starts pawing and me and fussing. I'll stop and ask, "Do you want nursies?" (while doing the sign) He'll say, "Buh-buh."
If I bottle-fed him, I'd assume he was asking for a bottle. But this is the catch-all for "You need to get something for me, mom."
I can probably understand a lot because I'm around him so much, but some of the stuff he's trying to communicate is pretty darn clear!
This is where it starts getting fun.
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