Ho ho! I dare to disagree! I even dare to say "ho ho!" and THEN disagree!
My life is full of opportunities to keep my professional and artistic skills on point, much to the delight of my "customers" (hubs and kids). They are constantly in awe of my ingenuity and the ease with which I juggle so many high-pressure demands.
What? You doubt me? Here are but a few examples from ONE DAY this week!
Example 1: Pointless organization, as one would find in much of the business world. Here, I multi-tasked by alphabetizing all of our Bananagrams tiles while repeating, "No, don't touch it! Leave it alone! Just a minute! Let me get done! Hold on! Hands off! X, X, X..." etc. I guess there was a bit of a purpose here, as I wondered what the disbursement of the letters was. Unlike Scrabble, which straight up tells you on the box, this was a mystery. I solved it, and, as you can see by the encroaching finger, only barely managed to snap a picture before the middle row was on the floor.
Example 2: Interior design, speed version. Here, I managed to find random pieces of this playset and put them in some semblance of an order before my child jumped on the futon mattress, setting off a shockwave that felled the house. Those poor kitties never saw it coming. Should I have put the baby's bed in the parents' room, or is it better that the siblings sleep together? These are important decisions that a home designer has to make, and in this case, very quickly. You can't second-guess yourself.
Example 3: Food styling. Some day, my kid will be able to grab his own fruit and deal with it on his own. For now, I try to make it attractive and easy to eat so he'll get some vitamins and roughage and stuff into his body. I guess that makes me a nutritionist, too? Yeah. I'm pretty busy; it's hard to keep track of the many things I do. Also, this serves a dual purpose of having healthy left-overs in case he goes to sleep before he finishes the food, in which case I will eat it if it won't keep until the next day. So I'm also my own proxy dietician. Figure that one out. I dare you.
Bonus food styling later that day: Barbecue pork on an everything bagel with lemon pepper Brussels sprouts.
That's a pretty plate, freaks! Also, both of my kids love Brussels sprouts! Is that normal?
Example 4: Landscaper. I kill things. I'm not kidding. But the people who sold us this house had these mums sadly "planted" in another pot when we moved in. Actually, they'd literally taken the pots off and left the root ball sitting on top of the soil. Somehow, the mums lived. I planted them in different pots, putting the more forgiving rosemary in the covered pots on the porch, and noticed that soon there was some new growth. I sloppily cut back the old growth to make room, and it's not a masterpiece, but I didn't kill these suckers!
Example 5: Art mentor. This was just aesthetically pleasing to me, and served no purpose whatsoever, but it intrigued Mal and who knows what it might spark in him some day down the road. 8 bit designs are so soothing to my eyeball.
Example 6: Nature photographer. My son likely won't remember the adventures we have right now, so it's my job and privilege to take as many pictures as is humanly possible so that there is tangible memory of the events. Right? Please say yes. It's how I justify purchasing nice cameras.
And I haven't even gotten started on how well I've honed my television critic skills. I find myself asking questions about the timelines and plot points of programs like "Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood" and "ChuChu TV," an Indian import that is ridiculous but somehow appeals to my child.
Just trust me: This is like 45 full time jobs, and as soon as the kids are gone, I'll be polished up and ready to rejoin the work force in any and all important capacities!
Your stuff always gets a chuckle out of me. The did looks delicious - the rest of it looks like a fight against entropy. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteFood, not did.
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