Homemade Christmas Croissants! (aka Don't Try This at Home)

Have you ever thought, "I should totally try to make croissants at home (like not the ones in the tube)"? Of course you have! Who hasn't?! I know I have. Multiple times.

Allow me to divest you of this brilliant idea.

Here is the recipe I used. "Classic Croissants" from the Fine Cooking website. You can read the recipe itself, and they have SOME step-by-step photos, but I'm going to show you what I did.

First note: THIS RECIPE TAKES THREE DAYS TO COMPLETE.

Since I wanted to have these on Christmas Wednesday, I had to start on Monday (or "Christmas Adam" as the internets is so fond of saying this year. I saw it first attributed to Jon Acuff's wife; I don't know where the rest of you got it.)

DAY ONE: Make the dough. That's the easy part.

DAY TWO: Create a big old butter pocket.

I took the advice I read in a comment or somewhere and made guidelines. One smaller square for the initial layout...

And a second for the final shape.

Note: if you prefer not to have graphite touch your food, be sure to draw on the "back" side of the parchment.

Dough with butter on.

 Now comes the rolling. Good gravy, Mabel, the rolling.

"I'm just starting! I haven't lost the will to live yet!"

Roll it out until it is about 22 inches long. Now it's a long piece of dough with one butter layer inside.

Fold a third of it.

And the other third.

At this point, you have 6 layers of dough and 3 layers of butter. You have to freeze the resultant block for 20 minutes. Then repeat.

Roughly 22 inches, but who really cares.

Now 18 layers of dough and 9 layers of butter.

Freeze it for 20 minutes AGAIN. Hope you didn't have any plans!

Last roll-out. The edges aren't happy.

By the time you wrap and refrigerate the dough for the last time, you have 54 layers of dough and 27 layers of butter.

DAY THREE: Merry Christmas! You're going to be busy!

The breakfast pizza recipe is here!*

You're supposed to roll this out to 41 inches or something, but after a combined half hour of rolling, it was somewhere in the 30-inch vicinity, at the longest points, and I call "close enough."

You're supposed to use a yard stick and measure and straight edge, but, come on, people. Pizza cutter, and knowing that they're supposed to be pretty much triangles, and boom!

Oooh, right, they're supposed to have points. Whoopsie!

Fortunately, I had some good-looking help.

The recipe said that this would make 15. We made 18, not including the turn-over I did with the scraps and the little ring of dough one of the cats managed to pull off the cookie sheet before we threw her outside for the rest of the morning. Our croissants were fatter than they were supposed to be because I could not roll out anything anymore.

That ended up being okay, because as it was, butter was coming out of the dough as we worked with it. It's the weirdest feeling. As we'd pull on the points to elongate the dough, you could feel that it wasn't a solid block of dough. 

Egg wash looks nasty up close. Their pictures look a lot tidier. I call "fake."

We made sure the chocolate chips were visible on the chocolate ones, so we wouldn't try to make ham sandwiches with those croissants.

They bake for 20ish minutes, and you have to move the trays around.

We ended up "losing" a lot of butter due to our handling of the dough. I know there's a way to prevent that, but you have to be so meticulous and careful, and ours still turned out fine.

Unfortunately, all of that butter in a 450-degree oven set our smoke alarm off three times.

Merry Christmas, neighborhood! Hope you weren't trying to sleep late!

When I pulled the croissants out of the oven, I was a little disappointed at how brown/black the bottoms were. But it's just super brown from the butter; they aren't and don't taste burnt.

Croissants with flash.

Croissants without flash.

Yes, they're beautiful! Yes, they taste great! Yes, I can see how making the dough thinner would help the flaky layer effect continue deep into the croissant (which is pretty moist and chewy in ours). But I'm plenty happy with these, and we'll enjoy them for days.

However...

In the future, I will purchase croissants. This was a lot of work for a generous baker's dozen pastries, and a fun experiment, but now that I've done it, I will appreciate paying $3-7 for a really good croissant that someone else made.



______________________________

*The breakfast pizza recipe is the third time I've made something with the instructions "make a well/crack the egg" and had the egg go EVERYWHERE. What am I doing wrong? "Make the well deeper!" Well, yeah, I get that. But this was supposed to be a pizza, and if I'd put it in a muffin tin, the shape would have been off. If I'd made the pizzas wider, then I wouldn't have had enough dough on the bottom to keep the egg from leaking through.

These ended up being beautiful AND delicious, but when I saw that white oozing all over the cookie sheet, I was initially extremely disappointed! I'd love your advice!

Laura + Astro, a love story

It all started on October 18, 2003. That's right, boys and girls, an entire decade ago. That was the day that I purchased this:

A stunning 1997 Chevrolet Astro extended passenger van. I loved it at first sight, but our ensuing relationship only solidified my affection for that six-year-old vehicle.

The Chevrolet Astro, which stopped being produced after 2005, is the only "mini" van built on a truck chassis. It has pretty astounding mileage for a big vehicle: 15 MPG in the city and 20 on the highway. It seats 7-8 passengers, depending on the set-up.

This Astro was a dream for several reasons:

1) It was easy to find in a parking lot. It didn't look like other cars. Or vans. Plus, it was a lot taller than most vehicles.

2) Roomy! We had so much room to spread out. This goes along with:

3) Flexible configuration.

This particular van had two fold-down bench seats. At some point, Daphne's favorite was to sit in the very back with the rear a/c blowing on her, folding down the middle seat so she could still chat with us.

There is nothing better than a few dedicated vents after a steamy day at the Durant Peanut Festival!

4) Dark blue interior. Did not show spills and stains. Did show pet hair, but what doesn't?

5) Front seat could recline pretty far back without requiring the amputation of the middle-seat passenger's legs.

Yes, I know how unsafe this is on so many levels. Spoiler alert: she made it.

Sure, the van had problems.

It had a lot of problems.

Something leaked from Day One. I grew to believe that it was the steering fluid, because sometimes it'd be very difficult to turn a corner... And then it happened that I'd get the oil changed and fluids topped off and miraculously could steer again. It came to be that the steering fluid seemed to drain at about 3000 miles, so it was the perfect reminder to stop in for service.

The gas gauge never worked. I had to reset the tripometer every time I got gas, and go back in for a fill-up at 300 miles. I believe that I let the gas run out twice and maybe three times during the years that I owned the van. The very last time it happened, we thought the van had died for good because it'd been petering out for a long time. By the time we realized that had actually occurred, we'd grieved over the Astro and had moved on. It was time.

The windshield wipers were intermittent. By that, I mean they worked whenever they felt like it, which wasn't reliably. However, when things got so bad that I would panic and really pray about it (like during a snowstorm in which I was terrified to pull over in the dark and wait, or when I really needed the car to pass inspection), they'd magically work for half an hour, then stop again. Fortunately, in all but the worst of gales, Rain-X actually works loads better than all but brand new wiper blades.

The driver's side window gave up the ghost after a while, meaning that I could roll the window down but not up. It took months and months of getting the window stuck in the down position when it was very hot or very cold or very wet before it became automatic to open the door at drive-throughs. 

Then there were the batteries and the cracked radiator on vacation, and several other things. But that thing got me through many years, hauled a lot of stuff, many friends and family, and I genuinely loved it, as much as a human can love a vehicle.

In fact, when we gave up on the car for good, in April 2010, Daphne, who was probably more traumatized than I was at the loss, wanted a couple of momentos. Until we moved the following year, she had these "couches" in her room.

Ever since April 2010, I have wanted another Astro. I notice them everywhere, and I have noticed that they tend to exist in one of two realities: Either the owner of said Astro has used it to haul cargo and it's completely spent, or the owner has babied it and it's beautiful. With my first Astro, when I took it in for an oil change early in my ownership, the man whistled and remarked, "Someone has babied this thing." It seems that that is common. 

Although I have adored the Astro and have been thinking about getting one ever since we moved to Austin, and then seriously after I got married, it wasn't until the air conditioner on my Elantra went out that we decided to get serious about trying to find one.

I was unable to find any that I liked locally; I knew I wanted the extended body (though that was negotiable), the passenger version (rather than the cargo one with no back windows), and I wanted it not to be plain white or tan or some other boring incarnation. I found one I really liked that Enterprise was selling in Kentucky, but they wouldn't even talk to me over the phone and the van was twice what I wanted to pay for a vehicle, so we waited.

Then I looked on the dreaded Craigslist, and there we saw this purple beauty that sent up red flags all over the place. It is a 1997 that has only 71,000 miles on it. My Elantra is a 2003, and I just topped 150,000. This smacked of odometer tampering. But, over time, everything checked out. So, here's the history of this van, as we now know it:

A lady bought it new in 1997 and owned it until October 2013. She serviced it regularly, and all of the maintenance, emissions testing, and registration renewals show up on CarFax. Also, the odometer readings are there since 2007, and they show a consistent use, albeit it a very low one. The original owner has several Mazdas, and her ownership of multiple vehicles might explain why the mileage on this one is so low. This fall, she decided to trade her Astro in for a Mazda, and one of the maintenance staff at the dealership went in with his dad to buy the vehicle for his mom, who had been wanting a mini van.

The new owner drove the van for a couple of weeks and deemed it too big. She didn't want it. And I'm glad that she didn't! It was so much easier to buy this thing from a private party. There were no games, no yards of paperwork. But we did meet him at the dealership, so we know where he works (and, ahem, where he lives) and he invited us to call him if there is anything wrong with the van.

I had to hound him, it felt like, to get him to send me the VIN and to meet us, but it turns out he's been really busy and his parents have been traveling, so it took him a while to get up to north Austin where the van was and to find time to squeeze us in. He said "A lot of people have been wanting to see it, but I just haven't had the time." So, this squeaky wheel is pretty ecstatic about the whole thing.

And now, without further ado, MY "NEW" 1997 CHEVY ASTRO!

It's PURPLE!

Note: This is the first vehicle I've ever had with remote entry. Ever. Yes, it works.

Super sweet tape player! Under 71,000 miles!

Four captain's chairs, unlike my first vehicle. More reclining opportunities for passengers!

The back seat is a bench seat... but not *just* a bench seat. Stay tuned!

The model we looked at from Enterprise had pleather seats. I prefer cloth so much, I can't even articulate it. I feel like cloth is so much more comfortable (in my price range; I understand you can get real true leather that is buttery soft).

Comparing the distance from the ground of my Elantra's seat and the Astro's.
I'm up a foot and a half higher and the view is GREAT!

Speaking of view, the Elantra's windshield is 45 inches wide and very sloped.
The Astro's windshield is 56 inches wide, and at a less severe angle. The result feels very panoramic.

This is the bench seat, or "sofa," from the front.

I love that all of the seats have fabric that sweeps the floor. It makes the car look a lot neater.
I used to store a lot of stuff under my seats, and hated how junky it rendered the interior.

The sofa from the back. But... just flip the switch you see on the right wall and...

It's a very comfortable bed!

Too bright? Sun in your eyes?

I probably wouldn't do this with the back windows when in motion.

But I love having the option.

It's on all of the rear windows.

Unlike my old Astro, these windows don't open.

Each seat has its own set of headphone jacks for the radio and the television.
Also, you can control the sofa from the middle driver's side.

In fact, there is a whole separate sound system for the back seat! I didn't notice it until this morning.

Didn't notice this until today, either. Guess it means we can hook up the Atari!

Each seat has a vent and rocker directional lighting. There is also rope lighting behind the window trim.

For an older car, the designers really anticipated the need for power outlets. I believe there are at least 4.

Faux wood detailing.

And in the back, a perpetually-charging flashlight (which needs a new battery), and...

A car vacuum! This is perfect for me!

So far, the Astro and I have been very happy. We got out this morning and I showed her some of the sites around town. She seemed right at home.

Sunrise at Graffiti Park.

Thanks SO much to my awesome husband, James, who was almost as excited about this van as I was. They had an Astro when he was growing up, too, so we're both pretty nostalgic about the whole thing. Can't wait for a road trip!

James' birthday week and its ensuing adventures

This has been a particularly festive week leading into Christmas. James' birthday was Friday, and since he's my favorite person ever, I was extremely excited to make it a good one for him, even though we didn't have a lot going on, gift-wise.

Tuesday, I had a mystery shop at Barton Creek mall. Typically, I don't like going to the mall, but this particular job involved purchasing a personalized ornament. Daphne picked one out especially for James (in which we are all depicted by cacti), we had our names put on it, and then I stopped by Godiva to get a free truffle.

Godiva has a program for which you can sign up and get one free truffle a month. I am not there every month, but when I happen to be at the mall, anyway, it's a great way to consume $3.25 worth of chocolate for nothing. The kiosk was pretty busy, so we waited in the shorter of the lines. However, it ended up taking forever because the ladies in front of me were purchasing for their boss's employees. We didn't mind waiting; it was pretty fascinating to watch them pile ballotin upon ballotin of chocolate next to the register, and watch the employee scan box after box. They had a sale, buy one/get one half-off, but even so, their total amounted to $887 and some change. Which made me giggle when I stepped up and asked for my one free truffle. Salted caramel, by the way. Delicious. The middle is entirely molten. Great. Now I will have to go back in January.

Wednesday, I spent most of the day baking. I blogged about that over in my more public blog here. I made cookies and pull-apart bread, spending five hours on my feet while still managing to crank out a good hour or two of work.

Wednesday night was our small group's Christmas "gift" exchange. Although it was white elephant gifts, Daphne and I ended up with some pretty sweet stuff. We finally got a cork board to serve as our "Wall of Awesome," something we had in the trailer but not yet at the Nuthaus. Also, Daphne ended up with some assorted things that included a sign that says "The cat lives here; you are just visiting," which James hung on the back of his office chair; a garlic chopper that looks like a little car; and then this thing (which my friend Mallory will be unsurprised to learn that I was able to find online by searching for "worst salad chopper").

Thursday, I took Daphne to my sister's office as she was getting off work at 9 AM. Daphne went with Sarah to Waco to pick up her cousins and spend the night with them. I went to the Grosses to do our cookie bake/exchange. Since I'd already baked my cookies, I spent several hours painting them with glaze. Then I went home to work a bit and get ready for James' office Christmas party.

This is one reason I love the future (which is now). I just Googled "elegant hairstyle for long layered hair" and found a really simple one that I was able to fashion almost effortlessly.

The party venue was less than a mile from James' office, so instead of his coming home, fighting traffic, to get me then our fighting traffic to get back, I fought traffic alone to go to his office to retrieve him. It was more than a little frustrating, and helps me appreciate my man even more. I went under the "2 1/4 miles" to my exit marker, and half an hour later when I looked up, I was just going underneath the "1 3/4 mile" mark.

Once I got off of the infernal Loop 1, the drive wasn't bad at all. James' office complex is beautiful, and sprawling, and they have a gym and cafe. The party was at eleven plates, and there was a lot of great food. Unlike James' old office, where he'd talked to me about several people, giving them characteristic nicknames so I'd remember about whom he was talking), I didn't really know much about anyone there. But I met some very nice people... and, oh yeah, the food was great. My favorite thing was probably these little shots of truffled soup. Or the Caribbean shrimp. Or roasted fingerling potatoes. I don't know. It was all good. And James won $75 in a raffle.

Friday was James' birthday! After he watched the video I made him, I drove him back to work. I'd expected the worst, traffic-wise, so we left early enough to have breakfast together at the office in order to avoid people... who never materialized. I am glad we did that, though, because I got a tour of James' workplace, and we actually took our breakfast to go, eating it in his office.

Then, I went to my sister's house, as my daughter was there. The evergreen trees along 360 are decorated for Christmas, so in addition to the surprise of not many cars at all, I got to enjoy that festive touch. I worked for a few hours at Sarah's, then Daphne and I went to Rework to have lunch with the Reworkers.

When we got home, I made James the lemon meringue pie he'd requested. When he got home from work, we walked up to 24th Street and had dinner at Sushi Niichi. It is in a strip mall, and although it's clean, it's pretty nondescript. What it lacks in stereotypical "upscale sushi" ambiance, however, it makes up for in quality of the rolls. They gave James a giant scoop of green tea ice cream with chocolate syrup and whipped cream for his birthday!

Saturday morning, James and I wanted to eat at Kerbey Lane. Daphne wasn't hungry, so James suggested that we ride our bikes. This was perfect, because we'd gotten a late start and I had a movie mystery shop to complete, so needed to be home to leave again by 11:15. The day was already cooler than Friday, which was muggy and warm (mid-70s), and I could feel the breeze on my arms, even though I had on a light jacket over my sleeveless sweater.

During our excellent meal, James was looking outside with consternation. It had begun to rain. Over the course of breakfast, it poured, it sprinkled, and it just plain rained. By the time we were ready to go (our left-overs in a paper bag for ease of carrying), it was barely misting. We dried off our seats and took off. Two blocks away, it started pouring again. We were being pelted by cold rain, and could barely look up enough to see where we were going. It was actually very funny and fortunately the ride home is mostly downhill, so we didn't have to work too hard; we only had to brave the elements until we arrived at the porch of the Nuthaus, soaked through to our skin, ready to be warm and dry.

As soon as I'd changed clothes, Daphne informed me that it was 11:16, so we took off. We were going to see "Frozen," but the time had changed, and so we ended up seeing "The Hobbit" again, something Daphne had requested the day after we saw it the first time.

When we left the theater, it was a blazingly sunny day; if not for the puddles everywhere, you'd never know it rained at all.

After the free movie, we came home to free pizza, another mystery shop. Then James and I went to film part of our Christmas video. Daphne wanted to be home for a while, so I suggested to James that we ride bikes to our first location, now that it was so beautiful out. We did, and I realized that I had on too long a skirt when it felt like my bicycle was "self-braking" (which is what I told James until we realized why it was slowing to a stop). My skirt had gotten caught in the brake, and dragged forward by the tire. After a couple of trials and errors, I realized that it would work if I pulled the back of my skirt up to the front between my legs like a diaper. I was glad for Daphne that she was not with me; she would have been mortified.

Meanwhile, at the location, you COULD tell very much that it had rained. When we returned home, we had to put our shoes out on the back porch to dry out so that we could clean them... at some time in the future that has not happened yet.

Today, after working video for church, grabbing Raising Cane's take-out for our lunch, and buying my first full set of groceries since before Thanksgiving, we all piled into the car to meet a man about a horse. Or 190, actually. After years of wanting and months of looking, we found a too-good-to-be-true-but-everything-checks-out Chevy Astro on the Craigslist. We've done all of the research, even bordering into stalking. For instance, I ran the VIN. I was able to verify the story of who owned the car before and how he came to buy it. But then today, I asked him his last name for the cashier's check, and he'd already told me the vicinity in which he lived, and I was able to verify where he owns property and his exact address so we can hunt him down if it turns out to be a lemon. Or if he kills us when we take him the cash tomorrow (I have sent the information to my sister, who will most certainly avenge my death). We did end up suggesting that we meet at Krispy Kreme, which is good because it's a public place and also because James got a free hot doughnut.

This evening, we watched a Christmas move you might have heard of called "Die Hard," which was released 26 years ago in a world where smoking was allowed in airports and the swankiest limousines had tape decks.

Looks like tomorrow, I'll be buying a van. It, too, has a tape deck, which means I'm definitely trading up. Tomorrow I'm also making stromboli. And working. James will be working from home the rest of the year, and we had such a fun week together that I'm really looking forward to it!