If there were a PhD in picking up Play-Doh and LEGOs, I'd be a doctor

This post has nothing to do with the title, but it's a true statement and I'm not on social media and do occasionally miss posting the pithy little insight. So there's a freebie for you.

There is an article in Texas Monthly (a great publication to which I highly recommend that you subscribe if you live in Texas or like Texas or even want to hate-follow Texas). It's entitled "Texas Has Shifted to an 'It's Your Responsibility' Pandemic Plan." Which is another true statement. This is my favorite piece: "Responsibility may be personal—but risk is communal. Everyone can both get sick with the virus and pass it on to someone else. A person who gets infected while packed into an overcrowded bar can pass the disease to a supermarket cashier who is otherwise steadfastly avoiding high-risk situations..." I hope everyone remembers this.

We're getting out and about more, but we're also still wearing masks where applicable (inside when we can't keep a distance, or if I have to talk to someone who isn't behind plexiglass, anywhere that there are signs "strongly suggesting" masks, etc.) and keeping our distance.

During the past week, we've been able to enjoy:

1) Zilker Botanical Garden's free admission day.

They were only admitting 100 people every fifteen minutes, but we only saw two groups the whole time we were roaming the 36 acres. And there were cute little signs everywhere, reminding people to keep their distance (not that it was necessary on this day).

2) Jumpstreet, which we had all to ourselves.

I did wear a mask when checking in, and again when I went to buy Mal some apple juice. But we were literally the only patrons there.

Interestingly (to me), we were also at Jumpstreet exactly two years ago to the date.

3) The new swing set at Jones Brothers Park.

It was HOT! But what a gorgeous day!

They also just opened up the playground last weekend... However, Jones Brothers is going to be closing down every Friday-Sunday until further notice, because that place is PACKED to the gills on the weekends. I think it's because it was one of the only public places that stayed open during the Stay Home, Stay Safe orders. The police did announce at the time that they'd be patrolling it and would break up groups, but once the Governor started relaxing things, even more people showed up. And I'm sure the cops don't want to spend their weekends ticking people off, so the city just decided to shut it down. (They also closed it Memorial Day weekend, but this is going to be EVERY weekend until further notice.)

They're leaving the boat ramps open, so you can go and park if you're getting in a boat and spreading out into the lake. At $15 a pop, that makes our town a lot of money, so...

(I just drove by this spot and they now have a lighted sign instead of just this printed thing.)

Since we've been mostly home, I've started a new era in my own hair care. I saw a "Curly Girl Method" video and even though I have stick-straight hair, a couple of the procedures seemed beneficial to me. To that end, I have begun taking "Haiti showers."

In Haiti, in order not to waste water, we took showers as our host family, The Pauls, did: Turn the water on to get wet, collecting some of it in a small bucket that was also in the shower (to rinse out the wash cloth, etc.) and then turn the water off to do things like soap up, scrub down, shampoo, etc. The water is only on when you need it to actively do something. Now, our hosts were quite well-to-do (I couldn't host a team of 15-20 people in my house!) and had an on-demand water heater, which was nice... when the electricity was on, which was never a given.

Jean Alix Paul told us that when he visited the US, he still took "Haiti showers," because he couldn't stand to waste water anywhere. That stuck with me, though I obviously didn't implement it for another almost seven years.

So, combining the inappropriate Curly Girl Method and water-conserving showers, here's what I do the majority of the time when I wash my hair:

1) Turn on the water. Get a wash cloth and my hair very wet.

2) Dispense my shampoo into my hand and emulsify it between my hands in the water.

3) Put the shampoo all over my scalp.

4) Turn off the water as soon as the shampoo is off of my hands.

5) Use what is apparently a dog-scrubber (but you can get the human version everywhere) to make sure the shampoo gets all over my scalp, and use the scrubber to exfoliate my scalp.

6) Wash off my body while the shampoo is sitting there working.

7) Turn on the water to rinse my shampoo and soap.

8) Repeat the shampoo steps, usually.

9) After the second shampoo rinse, turn the water off.

10) Apply conditioner to the parts of my hair that would be in a ponytail (that is, not touching my scalp), then gently comb my hair to distribute the conditioner (if you do this and you're like me, you will lose A LOT of hair... but then it's out and doesn't fall into the food you're cooking or onto the floor to choke your vacuum's beater bar).

11) It's called "noodling," I think. Basically, run my fingers down small strands of hair to feel that it's all smooth and the conditioner has been fully distributed.

12) Shave or finish up washing or just meditate on life to kill a few minutes.

13) Turn the shower back on and rinse everything off (including the comb I used, and any product containers that have shaving cream or sticky fingerprints on the outside... I wouldn't have to do that if I had a bucket, but that is the one piece of the full experience that I have not implemented yet).

My hair has gotten SO much healthier since I started doing this. I've also been able to get one more day between washes. I was washing on every third day and now I do it ever fourth day. And I have what I would consider oily skin and an oily scalp.

But when you use a gentle cleanser (sulfate-free shampoo, or even just conditioner -- see co-wash), it doesn't strip the natural oils from your scalp. Sulfates and other harsh cleansers do, and so your scalp over-produces oil to make up for it.

Once you stop that practice, your scalp calms down and you don't get greasy after a day or two (and if you are edging toward it, dry shampoo is your friend).

Anyway, this has produced the results I really wanted to achieve when I tried using no shampoo a few years ago. By the way, James is still doing no-poo; it worked for his scalp and curls.

AND FINALLY, while we're on the subject of hygiene (yes, we were), I have to note that it's now been over a decade (it was 10 years in January) since I started using a menstrual cup. At the time, I thought it was changing my life... and it DID. I never worry about whether or not to swim or to jump on a trampoline, or to go on a vigorous walk, or whether I'm going to mess up the sheets overnight, or any of that stuff.

I AM READY for menopause. But until then, thank the lord for whomever invented the menstrual cup.

Fin.

The Trip and Other Miscellany (pics and videos and fun)

There is a lot about which I want to blog (like our experience with Wacom and the Better Business Bureau, and Lenny and Larry's products, and even Reese's Pieces Peanut Butter Cups, among other things), but, dang it, I just don't have the time.

So here's the stuff I really want to remember. Hopefully. I actually kept jotting down stuff so I'd remember, but it's on my phone and my phone is in the other room, and I'm really tired and it's getting late, hence we're going to try to wing this.

This time a week ago, we were in Dallas at the amazing NYLO South Dallas hotel. We decided to try the State Fair of Texas for the first time in 3 years. Two years ago, I was just having a baby as it opened, so it was out. Then last year... well, our kid has been slow to acclimate to travel. But this visit was perfect!

We left at about 9:30 in the morning in order to miss Austin traffic, and stopped at the beautiful Bell County Safety Stop, where Mal played on the playground for a good half hour or so.

Then we headed further north to the Dr. Pepper Museum in Waco, then we stopped in at the Collin Street Bakery for lunch. Mal slept the rest of the way to Dallas, and really enjoyed our cool loft-style room at NYLO.

The next morning, we hit the State Fair of Texas for three hours, enjoying an array of fried foods and somehow sitting in pudding after this picture was taken. Well, that was just me. But still.

From the fair, we drove further north to my parents' house where we stayed for two nights. We got to go to their HOA's fall festival, D got to take a day off from peopling, and it was nice and relaxing. Mal went to bed quite a bit earlier than usual, even having taken a mammoth nap on Saturday afternoon.

After church on Sunday, we drove back as far as Waco. Mal slept again, from the moment we got onto the highway until about 45 seconds before we exited to get to our hotel. It was great! Unfortunately, that gave him LOADS of energy, which he did not use up thusly. It threw a little wrench into our dinner, but we really liked staying at the Homewood Suites, and James didn't mind eating his to-go steak in the room (I got to finish mine in the restaurant for once; James took Mal out when he started going berserk).

Monday morning, we visited half of the Cameron Park Zoo before coming home. It was great! I'd go back again to see the rest of it (we had mobility and energy issues, plus it was getting HOT).

We spent the second half of Monday doing the post-vacation catch-up, but it wasn't too bad since we'd gotten to do laundry at my parents' house.

Definitely the best travel we've experienced since the birth of this sweet boy, and probably one of the better trips Team Dave's has had, period (since we've had a pre-teen/teen with anxiety even before the little 'un). We saw so many birds (evidenced above) on the trip that my bird-fond older child was quite pleased.

Now, back to reality: Last night was actually one of the better nights of sleep I've had in a good month. Mal has taken to waking more frequently again, and yesterday morning WORE. ME. OUT. with his very insistent (kicking, hard pulling) nursing for the two hours before we got out of bed. But last night, I actually slept hard enough to dream. Weird, stupid dreams, but still. I like sleeping.

The day before yesterday, Mal did something he's never done before: Asked me to give him a kiss. Actually, he said, "Tiss," and leaned in toward me. So cute!

He has another word in his vernacular, too, and it's one of the clearest words he says: "sugar." One of his nursery rhymes features a boy who eats out of the sugar bowl, so let's never say that the computer didn't teach him something. He says, "Sugar. Eat." A lot. Like 5 times a day. I do let him have a little bit of sugar, too. Because, whatever. It moves him on to other things. Thanks, nursery rhymes.

Today, Mal was at the gym playing when he stopped, pointed up, and said, "Tum-bet." What? "Tum-bet." He was listening to the music... and, yep, there was a trumpet. He also said, "Dum-bone," though I think it was still more trumpet. Still, that's pretty observant. Many times, he will announce that the opening of a song is "la-la," which is how he says "ukulele." Or, "dit-tah," which is "guitar," and is ALWAYS followed by, "Daddy." Yes, Daddy plays the guitar. He'll often insist that Daddy is playing that track, too, and I never correct him. I remember thinking that my dad's job at the news station was to climb the big antenna out front. I don't think anyone ever corrected me, either, and I turned out fine.

Guess what? Mal has a favorite Weird Al song! When D was about his age, maybe a little younger, she requested "Hardware Store." When it gets to the part where the choir echoes "hardware stoooooooore," she'd throw her head back and sing.



(That was some AWESOME fan work, by the by.)

Well, now Mal has his own Weird Al song, and it's this one:




As SOON as it's over, he says, "More!" and is happy for me to replay it. I've stopped after about 4 times, because I really like this song and don't want to get sick of it. (I am listening to it now, since I landed on it to share it with you, though.) I know, his first song will probably be "we're great and you suck" instead of something more wholesome, like "Jesus Loves Me." *sigh*

Mal knows when he's dirtied his diaper, and very often will tell me. Or go get a new diaper. Or just take off his old diaper, leave it in the floor, and walk around until I notice (which, hopefully, is quickly, because... yuck). He does all of the things that kids are "supposed" to do to indicate potty training readiness. But he's not ready.

However, in the past few days, he seems to have honed in on a "potty spot." It's not really convenient, though, because it's outside, at the base of our stairwell. There is a little patch of wildflowers, and he stands there, squats, and holds on to the railing. He's used it three times in the past two days, including once yesterday when he wasn't wearing a diaper (but he WAS wearing shorts... long story).

I guess I should put his training potty out there? Or something? I don't know how to potty train a boy.

Okay, so the long story is this: Yesterday, we walked up to the office to do a couple of things. I briefly thought about taking his diaper changer, but didn't. And, sure enough, once we were up there, I realized he'd soiled the diaper he was wearing. He can go a long time without peeing, though, so I just took him into the bathroom, cleaned him up, and put his shorts on sans diaper.

We stayed at the office until after it closed, playing pool in the 24-hour tenant lounge, hanging out by the pool, and eventually walking back to the apartment. He made it almost a whole hour. Then, you know, the spot. I knew he'd peed. There was a puddle, and when I asked him, "Did you pee?" he cheerfully said, "No." After a few moments, I told him to come inside and we'd get a bath. He walked up the stairs and I started taking his clothes off of him when I realized what had happened. This wasn't one of those nice rabbit turd situations, either. So I left his clothes on the front porch and brought him into the entry way. "DO NOT MOVE!" I instructed him.

As I was coming back from his room with the wipes, he ran across the carpet and jumped up onto the couch. I caught him before he made too much of a mess, but he was not happy with my pulling him off by one leg and one arm. He did love his bubble bath, though.

I keep telling him how much easier this would be if he'd just use the toilet, but I think he likes the drama.

In non-Mal news, my husband hasn't used shampoo since March of this year. I tried the "no poo" experiment and couldn't take it. He tried and it's worked great for him. He said that his hair feels and smells really gross to him on the day he water-cleans it, but I don't notice anything. He's always had a dry scalp and dandruff, and he actually has much, much less of it now.

For me, the whole thing helped me find Angel Wash and Angel Rinse, which I adore. For the first time in years, my hair is actually growing out again. So everything worked out for both of us.

On the weight loss front, I continue to notice small things, in details about my body and in the way clothes fit. I gave myself a free day or two on our trip, but even then didn't go too far over my limit, and with the walking still managed to have a calorie deficit most days.

I guess when I set up my SparkPeople account, I put a goal weight, and because I said I wanted to lose one pound a week, it put me at reaching that goal in late March. Maybe that's when I'll be done? I actually don't think I can maintain the goal weight I chose, but we'll see what happens. I also made up a weight when I started, and because I don't have a scale and don't update, it looks like I've been doing this for two months now with no results. But I see it.

It's tomorrow! I gots to go to bed. I'm going to regret all of this dumb blogging in the morning. Before the sun comes up. But I do it all for love, right? And it's FRIDAY! Happy weekend, friends!

A final word on the "no poo" experiment...

Since my last post, I've been using the Kevin Murphy angel.wash and angel.rinse. I love them! First, there are no "lathering" agents in them, so my hair doesn't get hugely sudsy. But, goodness, it's light and CLEAN!

I've realized that my hair didn't fall out when I "washed" it and was using only water, though I didn't notice it at the time. Maybe that's because it all just glopped together and none was able to escape? The first time I used shampoo in six weeks, it was very noticeable. It's not excessive; it just made me note that I hadn't had hair fall out during the experiment.

Fortunately, I think that, if nothing else, the "experiment" kind of got my scalp out of the over-production of sebum. I went one week between washes the first time I used the shampoo. Now that it's getting hotter and so muggy, I'm washing it every three days or so, but I recently washed it the second day after I'd sanded some furniture and felt disgusting.

Perhaps most interesting is this: My husband, when I first told him what I was planning to do, immediately stopped using shampoo. It took me about a week to gather the supplies I needed, but he just went cold turkey. He has a very dry scalp and typically used dandruff shampoo.

His hair has thrived on the water-washing regimen. He washes it every two to four days, and it did go through an oily time at the beginning. But now, man, it looks (and smells!) great. He said his scalp itches less, too. I'm glad it worked out for him, so I'm glad I decided to try it.

Actually, it benefited both of us, as I'm really loving the feel of my hair with this shampoo I'd not have tried if I hadn't been doing so much research.

Six weeks... that was all I could take!

After having made it to the "half way" mark of my eight week trial run with no shampoo, I was starting to crack.

My hair felt, not oily per se, but just like it had conditioner in it at the scalp and for the first four inches or so, all of the time. On the upside, it made my hair a lot thicker. The sock bun was a lot easier than it had been when my hair was finer. I liked it that there was some unexpected wave coming out... Like this:

Apparently when my hair isn't weighted down by gunk, it's actually kind of wavy. I hadn't figured out how to use that to my advantage yet, but it helped hold wavy curl like this style for a few days.

However. I was so tired of always having to strategize my hair. I couldn't shower and just leave it. I had to blow it out a bit or it'd just lie flat on my head. I couldn't just get up in the morning and brush it, because it would adhere to itself, leaving big gaping holes at my scalp (something I promised myself I'd never let happen, as I used to tell my Mema, "Get a mirror and look at the back! I can see your naked head!").

I'd scratch up around my scalp, and my fingernails didn't look oily. it wasn't oily. It was just... icky. And I was getting tired of messing with it. It wasn't getting worse before it got better; it seemed to have stagnated at four weeks and it seemed that was as bad/good as it was going to get.

But while the top looked like this, my ends were getting strawy. They needed some love, and, dang it, that sebum wasn't getting down there. I'd tried coconut oil and cocoa butter, but both weren't much for leaving the ends brush-through ready. It made THEM clump together, too.

So, what's a girl to do?

I took to the internet. Again.

The reason my hair was dried out and was because of my messing with the pH balance using the products I was using, right? So, I wondered (and James and I talked about it) what is the pH of your hair? This article from Wikihow is pretty interesting. I wasn't sure where to go from there, but I knew I wasn't up to buying strips to test cleaners.

Fortunately, this person did that for me a few years ago. Actually, she called manufacturers. Then she also made this list of the gentlest to harshest sulfate-free shampoos, pointing out that the gentlest cleaned the worst.

But the thing that made the most sense to me was this "ask the stylist" blog entry about not using shampoo. It's really good. Even if you skipped the other links, if you're interested in "no poo" and why it might not work for you like it didn't seem to work for me, it is a wealth of information.

So I took her advice and looked around the Kevin Murphy site, then found Angel.Wash and Angel.Rinse, specifically formulated for fine, colored hair. I love how they list every ingredient (or "key" ingredients) and why they're in there. I called around and found The Beauty Store Salon and Spa had it, but only had a couple of 8-ounce washes left, so we hurried over Saturday after breakfast.

First off, cute store! I want to go back when my husband and baby aren't waiting in the van, because they have some neat Austin memorabilia and gift-type things. Second, I went ahead and got 8-ounce washes and rinses, because I want to make sure they're going to work with my hair. They were $27.50 each, and so will be much "cheaper" if/when I can buy the liter bottles for $69.

I didn't have time to mess with my hair this weekend, so mostly rolled it up in a bun. But yesterday... I was done. 

Yeah. I don't wear hats. So this morning...

Will let you know how it goes!

Transitioning from Shampoo, Part 1

My hair has been four to five inches longer than it is right now in the past, but for the most recent several years, I haven't been able to grow it out. As soon as I get some length, it's dead and I need to cut it off to keep my hair healthy.

Because of this, I decided to try to us zero hair product, aside from coloring every 6-8 weeks, and see if maybe that would help. There's a whole philosophy behind not using shampoo, and it's explained all over the internet, so I'm not going to do that here. There's a lot of good information, documentation, and an explanation of why on this lady's blog.

Like her, I decided I was going to try to use only water. I'm not ethically opposed to shampoo; if I wanted to clarify my hair, I'd just use shampoo. My experiment was to try to use only water and see if I could get my sebum production down to normal, and have that condition my hair. I decided to give it eight weeks and see what happened. We're just about half way through.

Four weeks ago, on March 21, I colored my hair and used coconut oil on the tips instead of the conditioner that came with the color. The reason I did this was that I knew the color had stripped my hair and I did not want to put product on top of it again. When you wash with just water, it can't strip the silicone or something, it's been a long time since I read it. Anyway, I wanted to start with clean hair.

The coconut oil was interesting. I think I used too much and it coated too much of my hair shaft. I should have just dabbed it onto the ends. As it was, we had some rare dry weather in Austin and my roots and associated hair had static electricity, but the ends did not. It was weird.

I waited two days then went in for a cut. I had her shampoo but not condition my hair, and put no product in it. Please excuse these pictures. I haven't really documented it except on Snapchat with my crappy phone camera. You know, toddlers and such.

Right after the cut.

I bought a boar bristle brush and made it two days before I felt like I needed to use that to try to coax some of the oils down from my scalp to the hair. It was fine. I could tell that there wasn't as much oil at the scalp. It actually wasn't as awful as I thought it would be, because usually, I have to wash my hair every other or every third day at the least.

Toward the end of the week, I started searching the internet for "dirty" hairstyles. I learned a couple of things: 1) The models in those tutorials have clean hair. 2) And/or, the models in those tutorials have thick hair. I found a couple that worked okay for me.

After that, I pretty much used the boar hair brush every day. I also got a bamboo comb.

On March 30, after a week, I did my first water wash. It was *SO MUCH WORSE* after I washed it! I think I didn't scrub at the scalp enough, and it was just clumpy and icky. Two days later, it started calming down a little bit. The third day, though, I used my "dry shampoo" for the first time: 1 part cocoa powder (since my hair's dark) and 1 part corn starch. It seemed to lift the roots a bit, so that was nice. Plus it smells gently of chocolate.

This was probably my favorite style. It was easy and looked fancy. I actually pulled out earrings, too.

Okay, so this next picture... I was illustrating the difference in thick hair and my fine hair. First, I took the picture with my phone's "real" (outward-facing) camera and, gosh, the quality is so much better! Anyway... Here's the tutorial that shows what it's supposed to look like. Here's what mine looked like.

It doesn't cover nearly as much scalp as the other picture. Because... I don't have *that* much hair.

For the second water wash, I "scritched" a LOT, and spent some time in the shower really scrubbing and trying to pull the oil through my hair. Oh, I'm also doing the last rinse in cold water, so... brr. This time, my husband was home, so I had time to blow dry the roots before we headed out on vacation.

Everyone says, "I can't even tell!" but I think that in this picture, you can totally tell. Of course, it was also the day before the third water wash.

Basically, now, my hair's not super oily, like I thought it might be. It's just different. And I don't like it. It feels like there's product in it, like if you sleep with conditioner in your hair for a good, deep condition. Only in this case, it feels like I didn't rinse it out. I brush my hair and it looks okay, though a little oily at the roots. Then later, it calms down at the roots but the next six to eight inches seems to glop together, and it makes little cracks and holes in my wig, if you know what I'm saying.

I am definitely going to give it eight weeks to see if the oil spreads all the way through and my scalp stops overproducing sebum, but if it is no better than it is today, I might go back to shampoo. Then again, I'll probably need to color it again around then and that should strip everything. Hopefully it won't send my scalp into overproduction again, or we'll have a vicious cycle I can only battle with soap.

Today, for the first time, I hot-rolled my hair. I haven't used these curlers since Mal was born, and it's literally 100% humidity, but at least it gave my hair a little lift.

The last time I washed was Friday morning, and so I'm still the better part of a week away from washing it again. Or "washing" it again. Stay tuned for Part 2, coming in a few weeks...