An Adventure Missed

This afternoon, James and Mal walked outside to get a left-over sucker from the car. About 45 minutes later, James texted me that he thought The Natural Gardener was having some kind of party.

Apparently, he and Mal had wandered around the parking lot, following music that kept getting louder as they walked toward the back of the complex, and finally across the street. As it turns out, they were having a customer appreciation day. There was music, snacks, and free beer. Seriously.

They walked around a lot, they swung, and it sounds like a blast. I'm sorry I missed it. I kind of wanted to walk over and join them. But I get adventures with Mal all of the time, so this one was special, for him and his dad.

And, just as a bonus, here's another picture from our threesome adventure earlier today. Highly recommend the Seafood Shack at Hudson Bend.

Gratitude, a Struggle

Typically, I am an easily-thankful person. I recognize blessings, angels in disguise, general good fortune, what-have-you. But, today, guys, I had an internal issue.

Today, my husband was going to hang out with our toddler son so that I could take our teenage daughter out for lunch. We haven't been out or even at home alone together in months (I don't think a trip to the doctor's office for lab work really counts), and we were both looking forward to it.

So, this morning, as I was getting ready, I found myself overflowing with gratitude toward my husband for his "willingness" to hang out with a sweet little kid who can, admittedly, be a handful, especially if he's not happy, and especially especially if he's not happy about being unhappy that I'm not around.

I know, looking at this picture, you'd not believe he could have an off moment, right?

So my issue was this: When I realized how EXTREMELY thankful I was to my husband, and I realized that in my thanking him, I was almost treating it like he was doing me a huge favor, I started to get mad at myself. After all, he's the child's dad. He SHOULD do stuff with him. Alone, even.

Then I felt like a jerk for second-guessing my gratitude. Then I felt kind of resentful that I honestly did feel like my husband was doing me a solid on a pretty big scale to be "game" to try to occupy the boy for a couple of hours.

Meanwhile, my husband never treats it like he's "helping out," but he does, I can tell, kind of get a little pre-freaked-out about being alone with our son. Then, of course, he does fine, and it's all good. So everything in my mind is just that: in my mind. But I was thinking, even before I went, that James would be worn out after this, and that I'd probably need to let him rest after (he *did* take a nap).

And that's when it's the worst kind of struggle, because I don't want to think, "Must be nice! I never get a nap!" as 1) I'm not a martyr and 2) we've made it a deal that we won't try to compete over who works hardest/is the most tired, etc.

All of this to say, I did thank him several times for... see? I was going to say "letting" me have some alone time with the teen, but that makes me roll my eyes. Do you see what I mean? I can't even write this blog post because it's making my head hurt.

I have a great husband. Let's leave it at that. His wife? Maybe less awesome. Maybe. Just a little.