They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha...

I'm not saying that parenting a baby is tedious or that I'm losing my mind or anything, but the other day, I was in Mal's room playing with his blocks and said, "That's interesting" out loud. When James asked me what, I realized that it wasn't actually interesting, but that I was spending way too much time in my baby's room.

Seriously.

If you talk to me and I'm boring, here's why. This is what I do all day.

This is a set of stacking blocks that Mal has. I got them for like $6 at a second-hand store months before he was born, not knowing how much I'd end up playing with them. Can you tell he teeths on them? Especially the top ones?

Anyway, this is how they're "supposed" to go. Sometimes I stack them upside down just because it looks impossible and fun and I love that. But then I try to find other patterns or ways to stack, or try just to be completely random. Or make the stacks look of uniform size, which you can do pretty well by alternating big and small pieces. But I digress.

Here's sort of rainbow order... I usually pull the red one off of the bottom of the disc pile and put it on top. Didn't do it this time, and now it's going to bother me. This is the worst blog ever.

Here, I tried to get uniform colors all the way across. As you can see, there are only 2 light blues and 2 reds. However, there are four dark blues, greens, and yellows. And three purples and oranges. I wonder why they went with 4 yellows, when this is such a ugly yellow it would have been prettier to do orange or even my favorite: purple. But, as you can see, I think about it way too much. This is what my life has become.

Also, if one piece is missing, I can tell you by looking at the rest which one is gone. Sad, sad times.

Color blocks. I have to have the red "toppers," and this bothers me.

Mal has another toy that is similar, and right now, I have it "random with as much off-track as possible." So, basically, it's a hot mess.

This toy is actually superior to the first one because the sticky-up parts can fold down. On the first toy, the sticky-up rods don't move, and many were the times that I worried my wobbly infant was going to impale himself. I don't think he ever did, or if he did, it obviously wasn't too traumatic for us. But I like the train's design better.

Unfortunately, I also liked to twist the posts around and watch them unwind, and I ended up breaking one off. So, yeah. I broke my kid's toy. I don't think he's cared yet.

Next, we have a linear alphabet Noah's ark puzzle that my friend Jana gave me. She had the pieces in a shoe box, and I put them in this Wilton's candy Christmas tin.

May I be honest and tell you I have spent more than two months trying to figure out how to get all of the animal pieces on the bottom of the tin (not having to stack or pile them)? Well, a couple of days ago, I finally got a combination that worked, and while I was trying to take this picture, Mal took out the giraffe and I almost had a heart attack getting him back in so I could get this shot.

This probably looks pretty easy, but figuring it out... well, wasn't. Maybe I'm just not spatially inclined. But here's my next challenge: I KNOW in my heart of hearts that there's room for the ark, too. I want them all on the floor of this tin. I don't know why. It's just that this is what my existence has become, and I'm leaning into it, friends.

Wish me luck! Or pray for me. Whatever.

See these books? I've memorized all of them. If we're ever waiting in line for something and you'd like an oral interpretation, hit me up. I have a lot of material here. (Yeah, Mal teeths on these, too, even though we've tried not to let him.)

Another thing: Since we moved and Mal has carpet instead of wood flooring, I've been working on places to put his top. Obviously, we can put it on books, but sometimes it spins off. It will spin on the floor, but just not as long.

One thing that I've found works is these oatmeal tin lids. It holds the top in place until it starts to slow down, then it falls off about the time it'd have stopped on a hard floor, anyway.

But the other day, I got super excited because I figured out that I could do this. And, yes, "super excited." At the moment, I seriously was. And this makes me pity myself just a bit.

Is it a spyglass or a top stand? It's BOTH!

That's blurry, but it was difficult for D to focus on a moving object with my picky camera. Plus, I'm sure she wondered what the heck was going on with her mom that I kept asking her to try it "one more time." I mean, what is wrong with her mom?!

Wheee!

Next step: See what kind of repertoire I can build up on this thing.

It's a little tricky because there are no sharps or flats; it's just the straight scale, with a few extra notes on either end.

Oh, did you also know that you can make the sound come out by sucking on the keys with them open? It might make you pass out, but that's possible. Also, James and I had a "contest" (I suggested it) to see who could make this thing work with their mouth furthest away from the blow hole. I won, or I wouldn't have suggested it, of course.

And last week, James and I spent a good hour tossing/rolling a ball back and forth while Mal did other things.

So, please. Someone. Help me.

A New Vlog Entry (the 10th!) Touring the Nursery

Here we are at 34 weeks and some change, and Rooby is on the move. Nearly constantly. Also, I am having contractions all of the time. Fortunately, the contractions aren't painful; they're not even uncomfortable. The baby's moving is usually fine, just weird, except when the movements poke up against an internal organ.

Also, the originally-named hormone relaxin is at work, and sometimes I have to stop want I'm doing to breathe through a brief ligament stretch.

Other than that, I'm as healthy as always. Normal (low) blood pressure and pulse, ease of mobility, holding chiropractic adjustments, and trying to get as much bike-riding in as possible. Exercise, except for swimming, has to happen before or after 8 AM and 8 PM, as the temperature plus humidity plus UV means daylight is out for anything but water activities, preferably indoors or at one of the cold venues like Deep Eddy or the Barton Springs pool. James and I walk together to some places on the weekend, but it's really disgusting outside.

I'm on track to gain about 25 pounds this pregnancy, which will put me at about 20 pounds less than I weighed when I gave birth to Daphne. I'm not too worried about any of that, though, because I'm feeling awesome and doing so well.

When I went to the chiropractor today, I felt bad for the other pregnant lady there. She was having a difficult time getting up and around, and breathing heavily while sitting there. I feel very fortunate, and pray that my health and well-being foreshadows positive outcomes for Rooby, despite the fact that James and I are older.

Anyhoo, here's the promised vlog update! Come look at the nursery.

Random thoughts on baby products

For the past few months, I've been making lists and checking them twice. It's time for me to tell you about my secret job at the North Pole.

Not really. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm a planner. I have a list of everything we'll need to have before the baby comes, stuff that can wait until after, and together James and I have an evolving action list of what needs to happen to empty out his office so that we'll have a place to put all of this stuff -- and the baby -- when it all arrives.

First of all, there are some things I'm just not getting. I'm not getting a carseat-compatible stroller. I don't walk the mall very often, and if I do, I'll use the infant carrier. Same thing for walking up the Drag or downtown. Besides, a lot of the stores and restaurants make maneuvering with the SUV strollers extremely unwieldy.

I am on the proverbial fence about a changing table. I didn't have one with Daphne, but we had carpeted floors with padding underneath, and I didn't mind plopping her down on a blanket to change her diapers. I'm still trying to figure out the wood floor situation, and, of course, keeping my eye out for a bargain in that regard.

But enough about me.

During this whole process, I have had some questions about items available for purchase. I've already given you my take on the ladies' undergarments, but purveyors of maternity lingerie aren't the only offenders in my book.

1. Why are so many clothes for newborns and older infants lightly-colored? Pastels or white with some print seems to be *the* thing. Have the manufacturers spent any time with these children? Are they aware of the messes that occur in and around these filth factories? I want some strong browns, navy blues, deep reds, dark oranges, grassy greens. I don't even care if they fade a bit in the laundry and get each other dirty. The whites usually look dingy after the second wash, anyway, PLUS they're stained with drool and whatever other gunk gets on them and never quite goes away.

How did pastels become the color palette of babydom, anyway? Vibrant colors stimulate their vision more.

2. Words. Ugh. Why are there meaningless words on almost every article of clothing made for babies? I mean, I get it if you want to express something specific. In fact, we do have a onesie already that says, "Excuse me; I believe you have my stapler." That means something. It makes James and me laugh. If you don't have context, let me Google that for you.

So I get things like "Daddy's Little Girl" or pop culture references or quotes from famous Renaissance poets. But the words "Away We Go!" with a picture of a truck, or "Let's Play!" or "Cute Playful Pal" with a picture of a dog, or "I Dig You!" with a picture of a backhoe or just the random word "Cute!"... Ugh. The kid is too small to see the words herself, so it's not like you're exposing her to written language when she wears it.

Also, a lot of the wording is very gender stereotyped. Things like "Princess of the Castle" or "Yes, I'm a Diva"... can you imagine Daphne's horror if she saw pictures of herself as a baby and I'd put her in that kind of thing? (For the record: I didn't.)

3. Speaking of sexist, if the clothing has pictures of dinosaurs, vehicles of any kind (including construction equipment, space travel, trains, boats, motorcycles, and passenger cars), sports involving balls, or fish, the clothing is almost definitely for boys.

Some animals seem to transcend gender, like monkeys and dogs. Frogs and raccoon are weighted toward boys, while cats and owls and horses lean to girls. The exception here is if the horse is saddled and looks like it might be from the Wild West.

Ladybugs, fruit, mythical creatures (like mermaids and unicorns), baked goods (cupcakes, cookies, cakes, lots of sprinkles), and, of course, flowers are found pretty much exclusively on girls' clothing.

The clothes are for us, of course; the parents. So why do we buy this crap?

4. Crib sheets. Mattresses with waterproof pads on them aren't the most comfortable, so we need cotton or the newly-illustrious minky sheets to place between baby and pee-proofing, right? Why is the average price of a fitted crib sheet about $25? There are custom sheets on Etsy for upwards of $50, but even on "regular" websites like Target.com, they range from $10-40.

Again, do you know what happens to these things? They get a lot of icky fluids on them and need to be washed constantly. Because of this, I need a good two or three crib sheets. I also need them not to be pastel colored!

Someone needs to come up with a crib sheet replacement that is like the old diaper inserts that everyone uses for burp pads now. It should be cheap, dark and/or infinitely bleachable, and, oh yeah, cheap.

It looks like I might need to hit the actual stores for this thing, and I do not look forward to that. On the other hand, my postal carrier might wonder if I'm selling drugs or laundering money with all of the deliveries I'm getting right now. At least one of them knows I'm expecting, since she called me out to help her get the office chair we bought Daphne and then, upon seeing me, asked if my husband was home. Hopefully they'll straighten out my reputation through positive gossip.

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Those are my primary gripes, plus this is a pretty long post, so I'll stop for now. I'm not even going to go into the uni-tasker bottle heaters and stuff like that today. Yeah, it's probably coming, though...

He's just not my type

Last weekend, James and I went to Whole Earth Provision Co. to look at hammocks. In trying to decide between a full-out "matrimonial" hammock or two hammock chairs, we decided to measure our back porch to see which would fit better.

When James got the tape measure, he also measured his office, which will eventually be the nursery, so we can plan how to fit the stuff we're going to need.

The resultant measurements throw into stark relief one of the fundamental differences between James and me. If I'd measured the "nursery," my output would have been a Post-It Note that said: 11'2" x 8'5". For the porch, I would have noted that we have about ten feet of usable length (sadly, we have to use some for storage because of the lack of indoor places to stow things).

Not James. James realized in his measuring adventures that his office/the nursery is not square, so the width at the front of the room is different than the width at the back. Here is what he presented to me.

There it is. The measurements we needed, along with other measurements he took because he was there, and that's the kind of thing he does. Also, this is in inches. Which means I have mentally to convert to feet, for some reason, because that's how my frame of reference works.

My point here is that James and I are just plain different. This kind of overwhelms my pea brain. But if I'd done the measuring, it's entirely possible that I would have purchased a chair that would have been too wide to fit through the door opening.

Now I can take this schematic shopping with me (still a couple of months down the road) and know exactly what I'm dealing with.

James and I were discussing earlier this week how our strengths happen to fall in very different places, and how brilliantly this is working out for us. We seem to have all of the important bases covered, and it all falls beautifully into place. <3