West Texas, Part 1

We're midway through our first week-long vacation since November 2020! And our first major road trip with the dog. Lots of excitement, lots of driving, and lots of cash spent on gas, which is currently topping out around $4.29 for regular unleaded in Texas.

We left Jonestown midday Saturday, and D was excited to give the cats the reign of the house.

We stopped pretty quickly, in Marble Falls. James dropped Mal, the dog, and me off at Johnson Park and went to get us lunch from the Blue Bonnet Cafe (speaking of a homophone, we saw only a very few bluebonnets, which are typically in full splendor by now).

Mal had a lot of fun on the playground, and Luke got to run around the off-leash part, which I hadn't realized existed when we've visited the park sans-pet so I wasn't paying attention.

I leave the leash on because it's easier to grab him when we need control again.

After a delicious lunch (James had breakfast), we drove to Llano. We stopped at a neat place I'd seen on Roadside America called Texas Tin Lizard. We got to speak with the artist, and she was a neat person. She welds the metal for bottle trees. BYOB, and it isn't easy because everyone loves glass now so it's expensive!

Then we visited the riverside park where there is a lot of public art. It was very warm, but we enjoyed the river and the neat work.

We finished that leg of our trip in Sonora, Texas. I'd never heard of it, but it was midway between Jonestown and Marfa, so that was a good place to stop.

We stayed in a nice little Super 8 that is one of those old-style motor lodges. It was four different low-slung buildings across a couple of blocks. Comfortable, clean, and quiet, just like we likes it.

It's also very near a museum that was closed, but had some cool displays outside, like a mostly-broken-down old wagon and a hitching post with elevated platform.

Sonora has a nature center, so when Luke woke up at o'dark-thirty the next day, we walked in that direction. It is close to I-10, but easy to forget when you're not paying attention too closely.

Sutton County Courthouse

We got grab-and-go breakfast at the hotel, and were on our way further west.

Here's a case where sort of obsessively planning travel can really pay off. I was looking at Marathon on Google Maps to see where we might want to get out and rest a bit, when I saw a patch of green in the middle of this desert town. It really stood out, so I zoomed in to check it.

Turns out it's an absolute oasis called Gage Gardens.

Luke made some friends and wore himself out!

We spent a good hour or so in Marathon before taking off again.

In Marfa, we stayed at The Lincoln Marfa. It is right across the street from the Presidio County Courthouse, and it used to be the stables for the courthouse. It's been several things over the years, but now it's long- and short-term rentals, and it's a super fun place. Lots of room, neat little nooks and crannies and courtyards to hang out, and even a fire pit and movie wall. So much personality. I've been pictures of it when it's lush in the summer and it's breath-taking, but we thought the winter version had its own charm, as well.

The single tiny structure in the courtyard is the entrance to an unfinished bomb shelter.
You can stay in it if you're traveling with a party of one or two people.

At this time of the year, Marfa is pretty quiet (maybe it's always quiet?), and we were there on a full Monday, when most things are closed most places, anyway. But we had a great time walking around and admiring the varied architecture, as well as the fun way art is pretty much everywhere, from walls to garbage dumpsters. Oh, and the sunrises. Wow.

They also have a dog park, but it's pretty useless this time of year, as it's more stickers than anything else. In fact, if you're going to visit Marfa with a dog, I recommend staying as close as possible to the courthouse (there are plenty of options) because it's the only publicly-accessible place to take your dog that has grass that is treated for weeds. There is a nice playground for kids that is fully fenced, but it says no pets. Same with the athletic fields at the school (and they're installing synthetic turf right now anyway). Luke got SO MANY stickers that it makes me glad we don't live in the desert. We loved Marfa, though. It would be tempting if it weren't for the dry cold (that is brutal and that leads to stickers) plus the fact that real estate is no cheaper than where we live, anyway (meaning we couldn't afford the house we'd want).

This morning (Tuesday), we got up and drove just up the road to Fort Davis National Historical Site.

We had a pass to Davis Mountains State Park, and drove in but mostly just drove in and back out because the dog was exhausted (he walked around and got several stickers at the historical site... but he really did seem to have a good time climbing up the hill that's immediately next to the barracks.

We had a pretty quick 2-hour drive to Monahans, where it's dusty as heck because we're in the Permian Basin and it's windy.

Our plans are to go to Monahans Sandhill State Park tomorrow, then drive on to San Angelo for three nights.

Shopping Trip with Mal

Indeed is a great company to work for. They offer unlimited PTO, and they make a big deal out of meaning it. Once they sent everyone to work from home a couple of years ago, they decided that we weren't taking enough time off. So they started giving us one Friday off every month.

They haven't stopped.

Feb 18 was one of those days.

Early on, I promised Laura a day to get away. She's needed one for a long time. If I wrote that she "deserved" it, it would belittle just how hard she works to keep this household working. I took responsibility for Mal and the dog, and she got to do whatever she wanted. I think she drove to south Austin to hang out with her sister. I'm sad to realize that I'm still not sure.

After we agreed to this, I wound up with a busy day.

A few weeks before this, I ordered some natural hydraulic lime. It's kinda/sorta like old-school cement. Ancient buildings used it for mortar. Once it's fully cured, it basically turns into limestone. It may not be quite as strong as concrete (I'm not sure I've ever run across any official lab test results), but everything I've read claims that it can heal if your building shifts and makes it crack.

One of its most important features is that it "breathes." This is really important if you're building something out of natural materials, like straw or earth.

One way or another, water will get into your walls. If you cover them with a layer of cement, the water is trapped inside. It starts doing all the awful things that water does to things like straw (mildew) or earth (turning your sturdy walls into mud).

On the 11th, I got a notice that my lime had arrived. I figured I would just pick it up that weekend. But the store is only open during the week.

I tried to find time during the next week to get away to pick it up, but the store is on the other side of the city. And my little car isn't up to hauling half a ton of powdered limestone. The suspension *might* be able to handle it (I doubt it), but it doesn't have that much space in the trunk.

So Mal and I got up, wished Laura a good day, harnessed up the dog, and headed out around 11:00.

We started by going to Home Depot to rent a pickup. Luckily, they had a couple. After we rented it, Mal wanted to look at light fixtures. I tried to keep a firm grasp on the basic fact that I was going to spend a lot of money on this rental. A few minutes here and there to improve my relationship with either my kid or my dog was not going to add a significant amount to that.

I don't know if it would fit us or the house we want, but I think the silly looping one is pretty neat. I'd really want to learn a lot more about changing the "bulbs" before I bought something like that.

I also grabbed a few 2x4s. My plan was to build the door/window frame out of them, but I'd double-guessing myself now. After all, that part will wind up embedded in the cob. If it rots, it will be a lot of work to replace.

Luke was great, at the store by the way. He's so much better than he was when we started taking him places like this.

Once we found the lighting aisle, Mal was content. So we headed out to the pickup.

The one we got was fairly sweet. Mal was revolted by the smell (cigarette residue) but luxuriated in the leather(?) seats. Luke seemed happier than he is on most car rides, even though he had less room than usual. Maybe he feels happier when his people are squinched in together?

I immediately had fond memories of solid pickups with towing capacity. It was pretty neat to be sitting up above other cars and being able to see over them. And to have them actually getting out of my way when I signalled that I wanted to change lanes (though Austin is still a lot better about that than most cities, even in my little Fiat). I got a kick out of having an engine that's powerful enough that it didn't strain going uphill.

By the time we got to our first stop at Ecowise to pick up the lime, Mal really needed to pee. And he was really hungry. The parking lot was really confusing. It was almost like this used to be a strip mall, once upon a time. Now there's a ring of shops with hard-to-see signs hiding behind some front store. It all looks kind of shady. Maybe because they're all things like environmentally friendly building material stores hiding in Texas? I don't know, but it was weird.

According to Waze, there was a McDonald's really close by. I figured that Mal could go to the bathroom at Ecowise, then we'd hit up McDonald's.

It turns out that Ecowise isn't so much a store as a distribution center. I think. There were books in the entryway. Under other circumstances, I'd have been tempted to browse.

Laura had requested that I take Luke into the store with me, because he freaks out when he's left alone inside the car. I jokingly told her that I was planning to just leave him there with Mal, but that's what happened because Mal didn't want to get out.

As soon as I told the guy what I was there for, he hustled me to the closed "shop" next door, opened the garage door, and headed for the pallet full of lime. He asked me how I wanted to handle it. Maybe we could both take a bag at a time?

I really should have taken him up on that. I did at first, but then it just seemed like a waste of time. When I got home that night, I saw that he'd sent me an email explaining that he'd injured his shoulder. I felt really bad that he'd helped me load anyway.

But then I got worried about the dog and the kid in the car, so I started rushing things and grabbing bags myself. And so did the nice guy (Jim Holland) who was helping me.

After we got done, a big portion of that pallet of lime was left. He warned me that he might need my help pushing it back uphill and into the warehouse. I was confused, but agreed. He managed it.

When I got home that night (really, really sore from all the work), I found an email from him that morning. He'd messed up his shoulder and was asking for help.

I feel awful for not insisting that he sit out everything he legally could and let me load my truck myself. I really feel like he was trying to help he expedite things because it was obvious that I was paying for my transportation by the hour.

After we left there, we headed to the McDonald's for Mal.

This was one of the most confusing McDonald's ever.

First of all, I didn't believe they had a lobby at all. We wouldn't have gone in, but Mal needed to pee desperately. It was one of those places where you need a key to get into the bathroom. Some guy went in right before us.

We waited.

I left Mal to wait some more while I got in line to order food.

While I was still in line, Mal showed up to tell me that he'd watched someone else go in, and the first guy had just disappeared.

I still don't know what happened. But Mal finally got to pee.

And we finally got our food.

At this point, Luke was restless. I walked him around the McDonald's/gas station parking lot while I ate.

Some homeless guy wandered by with his dog. I asked his permission for Luke to say "hi." They did. The homeless guy thanked me for it. I'm not sure why. Maybe he was just surprised that I treated him like a normal human being?

Shortly after that, we all managed to load back up and head about another half mile up the road to Dakota Hardwoods.

I wanted to buy wood for a door and window.

When I researched the woods to use for this, teak showed up first. And then mahogany. Maybe white oak is an acceptable substitute, since the other two are probably too expensive. The thickest white oak they sell is nominally 1", so probably about 3/4" for real. I have part of one board of it, and it wouldn't make a very substantial door. You have to ask the salesperson for the current price. When we got there, I did.

It was weird to go inside their store and interact with another human being.

I'm sure I have these numbers wrong, but the basic idea was that teak is around $36 a board foot. The white oak was nearly $10. 1.5" thick mahogany was something like $9.30. The 2" was $9.60.

I got the 2 inch. The boards are about 12 feet long. They're really freaking heavy.

We spent a lot of time waiting for the boards to get delivered. I wandered around the parking lot with Luke. Mal got really bored.

He complained about how long it had taken all the way home. He insisted that he's never taking up any hobbies like this, because it's far too much work. He's just going to manage his restaurant. Which, based on his vast experience from watching Sponge Bob, is super easy.

Laura beat us home.

I unloaded quickly and headed to Sun Hardware to buy eight wooden pallets. At first, he wanted $3 each. When I pulled out the credit card, he told me he'd take $20 cash. I think I had $16, so he went for that.

Then I drove to the feed store in Cedar Park to grab some straw. I was actually planning to browse and see what they had that was worthwhile, after sitting out in the rain probably all winter. But I got there as they were closing. A couple of teenagers loaded me up while I paid.

They sat here for a couple of days. It probably made Laura crazy.

Then I took the pickup back. They asked me to gas it up across the street before I dropped it off. I did, and that's when I remembered why our Fiats are so awesome. I'd burned about 9 gallons of gas. When I used to commute, I'd go through that much in about a week and a half. I did put on quite a few more miles than a regular day's commute, but most of them were on the highway with relatively light traffic.

I had something else going on the next day, so it was actually Sunday before I was able to put everything in better places.

I didn't get a picture of the lime when I stored it under our house. I sealed those up in trash bags and stowed them under the house on 2x4s.

Hormones are stupid (mine, anyway)

There is a lot going on right now.

The surveyor who is helping us repeat our lots for the house we're building found some discrepancy in the property line between us and our next door neighbor. The neighbor believe that the boundary is our fence when he bought his house, but he's wanting to figure out how much land he might be standing to "give away" if he signs off on our agreement that the fence IS the boundary. We have no idea how much it is going to cost or how long it is going to take to fix this.

D went off on me today, which hasn't happened in a while but is also not an irregular occurrence. Many hurtful things were said (which I have no doubt were sincere on their part; I mostly stayed quiet).

We've had a number of sort of surprise expenses lately, just as we were already having to pull money out of savings to meet our mostly-normal expenses. I'm shocked at how it can still be challenging to squirrel any money away when your household income is above the national median income. And we do not have a lavish lifestyle. We are comfortable; we're fortunate. But it is really close every payday, and has been for almost a year.

If you ask me how I feel, though, the truth is that I feel upbeat and pretty positive. That's kind of my default.

Four weeks ago, though? After I put everything on the cabinet into the sink so I could use it to stage the clean dishes from the dishwasher and James said, "I was using that fork and spoon," I burst into hysterical tears. For the second time in two days. And the first time was an equally stupid trigger."

I think I'm in pre-menopause. As we speak, my current cycle is 39 days (which I only know thanks to Apple Health), and I've had a 60-day cycle in the past year. I'm kind of scared, though, because when that 60-day one ended, the next cycle hit with a vengeance of pain, sensitivity, nausea, and chills. 

And the hormones.

There are maybe 3 days per cycle where I'm emotionally out of control. I spent one weekend listening to the Encanto soundtrack and weeping uncontrollably. I get overwhelmed by my responsibilities, and I resent the people around me for not making my life easier. Then I'm back to "normal" again.

I really hate how unpredictable it is. I feel badly for my family, even though I try to warn James, at least, when I can feel the cloud coming on.

I'm hesitant to take "drugs" for it, because most mood-altering meds have to build up in your system... and I'm only off-balance a few days per month, if that. 

So, I get it. You need hormones to metabolize food and have babies and sleep and stuff. But I'm wondering if they're worth it right now.

Not that I'm complaining about being in a sort of serene place right now. Just good grief. The lack of control. Yeesh.

This lady is closing in on 50, baby!

Well, eBay, it's been a nice 23 years, but I'm done...

In early 1999, I signed up for an eBay account. It was fun to have access to almost anything I could think of (kind of before Amazon was doing that), and soon I realized that I had things other people wanted, too. 

During the lean years of my second marriage, I made enough money on eBay to get us through some tight times. I sold things that were dear to me, but desperate times...

I'd found an expensive (to me: $25) copy of the long-out-of-print book "Jellybeans for Breakfast" that I ended up selling a couple of years later because I realized that it would sell for over $200.

I sold a Grover stuffed doll I'd had since childhood... It had been my first experience with savings. I wanted Grover really badly; he was about the size of the actual Muppet, but a doll and not a puppet. He was $5. I had $1. My parents told me that if I saved my allowance, I could get him for myself. I got $.25 a week. So for months, no bike rides down to Wilke's Grocery to see how much candy I could snag for $1. That was a neighborhood staple, so it was rough! I was only 5 years old, as well. Delayed gratification comes HARD at that age. Anyway, sixteen weeks later, I walked out of Walmart with my buddy Grover! But in my early 30s, someone was willing to pay $85 for him, so it was a no-brainer.

I also sold four Little People sets: Sesame Street, schoolhouse, hospital, and house. As my sister and I have had a "second round" of kids, and my niece has a young 'un now, I think maybe my mom regrets giving me those. But it was more than $350 that we desperately needed. 

My ex-mother- and sister-in-law both had/have excellent taste in... everything. And they would often send me clothes for D. These were gorgeous smocked white dresses for Easter, and gingham jumpsuits with ruffles and bows. From the very beginning, these were not D's taste on any level. So what I would do is save one outfit for portraits, and sell the rest on eBay when they were new with tags. Ca-ching!

Yesterday, I happened to look through my selling history, and I'm amazed at how many things I sold for $1-$5. That represents the majority of what I sold! I did some volume, and made sure to pad shipping a bit, so it was apparently worth it for me.

Then, maybe ten years ago, eBay changed their fee structure. You didn't have to pay to list something, but they charged a lot more as a seller's fee. I hadn't sold anything in a few years, then had some things to get rid of, and between increased shipping charges and their increased take of the sale, it just wasn't worth it.

In January, however, I decided to get a compact camera with good zoom (less than my giant Nikon, but more than my tiny Sony) and then sell both of the cameras I had. Especially with the dog, carrying around a camera the size of a DSLR is just not practical. I sold the Nikon for a nice price (I threw in all of the accessories I'd bought for it, so the buyer got a good deal, too). Then I ordered my new camera, and after I got it, I sold my Sony, as well. 

A week after I'd sold the second camera, I got a message asking about why they hadn't received the camera yet. I assumed it was about the Sony, until I looked at the tracking and realized that, although I'd dropped the Nikon off on Saturday, January 14 at a local shipping company, because it was the weekend and Monday was a holiday, it hadn't been picked up by the post office until Tuesday, January 17. And it had not moved since then. It was January 28. So this guy was super patient to wait two weeks after purchase on an item we'd shipped Priority. The other camera, which I'd mailed a week later by dropping off at an actual post office in Cedar Park, had gotten there two days later.

I immediately filed a service request with the Post Office. I hadn't heard anything in 24 hours, but had gotten two automated emails: one from the Post Office at large, and one from the Lago Vista branch. I called Lago Vista and talked to a guy who said the item was sitting in Austin and we were just at their mercy of when to send it out because of staffing issues. I was skeptical, "But for TWO WEEKS? I sent something out of Cedar Park and it got where it was going just fine." He said yes. I asked him for a number I could call to file an insurance claim, because this dude had paid $900 for the camera and I wanted to get him his money back. The employee said that I had to wait 30 days before filing an insurance claim.

I was in constant contact with the buyer, explaining all of this to him. A week passed. I got a notice that he'd filed a complaint with eBay. I told him that I understood why he'd done it, and I answered eBay's questions about the situation. In the meantime, I found out that you don't have to wait 30 days to file an insurance claim for Priority mail; just 15 days. Dang. I filed an insurance claim immediately.

eBay messaged me after a couple of days and said that they'd decided in the buyer's favor and were going to take $900 out of my checking account (even though I'd only received $736... they have to get their mon-ay!) because I hadn't provided proof of delivery. They said:

"To avoid this in the future; I’d like to share with you some detailed information about proof of delivery, so you don't have to worry about a lost item in the future. Please ensure a tracking number with in your handling time. When a buyer doesn't receive an item, sellers are protected if they can provide proof of delivery. Proof of delivery is tracking information from a shipping company that clearly displays:

"1.The delivery status of the item as 'delivered' or 'attempted delivery'

"2. The date of delivery (which shows the seller posted within stated handling time)

"3. The recipient's address, displaying at least the city and state or ZIP code (or the equivalent) of the address listed in the sale

"4. For transactions $750 USD (or local currency equivalent) or more, confirmation of the recipient's signature is required."

I answered: "I sent you the tracking number. I bought postage through eBay. I can't help that it wasn't delivered; I tendered it to the postal service. I'm trying to recoup from them. And if they somehow find it now and it gets to him, I have no way to get my money back. I don't understand how you can say you don't have the tracking info since it's literally in my account, AND I sent you the number along with screen shots. What else am I supposed to do?"

They responded: "I’ve reviewed the case further and found that at the time we stepped in and made a decision on February 11, 2022, their [sic] is no new update from the tracking, last update was January 18, 2022. Checking further today it shows new movement. Since it’s already way past the estimated delivery date and the buyer didn’t have their purchased item yet, we closed the case in their favor and gave them a refund. We highly advise you to keep track of the item and be in continuous communication with your buyer. Once the tracking shows delivered, you have 2options: 1. Send your buyer an invoice through PP for them to repay for the item; or 2. Send your buyer a return label for them to send your item back Most buyers easily agree to these options because they already got their money back."

Excuse me for being cynical. But new movement? What?

I just responded to eBay: "I did everything you suggested. We were in communications the whole time."

I looked and, sure enough, my service request didn't do squat, but once I filed an insurance claim, that seemed to have lit a match under them and they miraculously located the camera. 

My final (I thought) email from eBay said: "At this point, it would be best if you will continue contacting USPS to get an update about your claim and possibly get your item or money back. To avoid the same situation when sending items to your buyers: • Purchase shipping insurance. Shipping insurance is the only way to protect you in the event that an item does not get delivered to a buyer and may be lost in transit. • Use a trusted carrier. Make sure to use a carrier that has great history when it comes to shipping service."

By this point, I knew they weren't going to listen to me. And the $900 had come out of my checking account. But I just said, "Again, I literally did everything you're suggesting."

The buyer got the camera and immediately sent me $900 via PayPal. He managed to avoid sales tax, so good for him. I messaged eBay and asked them to close down my appeal, and I wanted to close my eBay account.

But THEN, I got THIS email from eBay: "Upon checking on ebay's end, we do see that the USPS item number shows item got delivered last February 15, 2022 and the buyer also confirmed that item was received.  In line with this, we are able to reverse the refund made for the buyer. Laura, you were not held at fault. You do not have to do anything else. I will be sending you a confirmation email in the next few minutes. Funds for $900.00 should be released back to your Bank account in the next 24 - 48 hours. I am glad I've fully resolved your concern for today. We value your business." 

NO YOU DO NOT.

I had already closed down my PayPal account, and that's the only way the buyer has to get his money back! This is the worst. So now I DID request my eBay account be deleted, and I'm waiting for the money to hit my account so I can sign up for PayPal for 20 minutes, send this dude his money back, and we can be DONE WITH THE WHOLE THING.

Ridiculous.

I do like my new camera, though!

Is Mal Becoming a Mini-Me?

 If it's 9:00 AM, Malcolm is dressed for the day.

For most of Mal's life, he's pretty much been happy doing his thing in a diaper or his underpants. Especially having been home so much the past year, he was getting used to not being dressed.

For whatever reason, during the past couple of months, he's decided that he gets dressed at 9:00. If he wakes up at 8:15, he'll watch videos or chat for a while, then hop out of bed at 9 and put on his clothes. If he wakes up after 9:00, the first thing he does is get dressed.

I've never made him get dressed unless we were going somewhere. I liked it better when he was clothed, but since that's just my own preference, I never pressed it. Now it's his idea, and it's cool that it just happened organically.

Also, he's taken up one of my favorite pastimes: religiously studying lyrics and "practicing" singing songs until he has them memorized. In this case, it's the "Encanto" soundtrack. He is super proud of himself when he can sing a few of the songs all the way through.

The other day, we got into the car, and he asked, "Who needs a radio when you have me?!"

What a great kid!

Another thing Mal is doing lately is getting his feelings VERY hurt when I don't agree with him, then bargaining with me to say that I DO agree with him. One example, going back to the lyrics thing: A couple of the printed lyrics from "Encanto" are wrong. There's one part where Maribel sings, "Well, I gotta go; the life of a Madrigal!" But the lyrics say something like, "Well, I've got a good life of a Madrigal" or something that doesn't really make sense in the context of the song. (Another one, where the townspeople sing, "We're only up the road," they have, "We're rolling up the road." What? No, they aren't. Good grief.)

Having memorized everything so carefully (as well as taking incredibly seriously ANYTHING that's in writing), Mal is pretty invested in the incorrect lyrics. I told him he can sing them however he wants, but he wants me to agree that the wrong lyrics are right. And I can't, because they're not, and I don't lie to my kids. Anyway, he cried and stayed in his closed room for an hour, after threatening to do so if I didn't agree. When I still didn't agree, he was pretty disappointed. 

All of this to say that life with Mal continues to be an adventure. I never imagined I'd have such a young kiddo when I was closing in on 50, but it's such a blessing. Love this child.